my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
wellwell tuition in the morning and yuanyuan came to help with the housework. thank God for her. went to fetch fang from the mrt station and she came to my house. we had a blast eating loads and loads of junk food, cooking, quote unquote, all the microwavable food in the world, for lunch. har har. we hardly studied at all, kept on talking, catching up on everything that i'm missing out on in rj. and michelle's gone down under already. next week will be jasmine heo's turn. hmm everyone's leaving. somehow i feel like 2005's a year of huge changes for me. yes change, in every sense of the word. gosh all the decisions that had to be made,and i do forsee even more to be deliberated over in the near future. well gonna jes leave it to the Almighty :)
youth fellowship was really fun. stupid ben, royce and nic obviously didn't wanna come and they came up with tons of excuses. ha ha owell their loss :P we played soooo many lame games and it was kinda fun. the cutting paper thing was really cool. sometimes, you really can't help but marvel at how creative God can be. if only some of it will rub off on me. watched hillsong conferences on dvd and i showed fang my favourite singer and the uber cute/ droolworthy/ gorgeous/ charming/ good looking with hot bod to boot guy. and his voice is like so niceeeeeeeeee. we were like all swooning and melting in our seats. even yudhi was like 'i like this guy!!' hurhur how interesting.
kinda sick of the ennui [if you can call it that, because obviously i do have tons of things to do but i jes choose to be delusional] coursing through my veins, i can feel it and im determined to rid myself from all of it. alright today wasn't so productive but i kinda read another set of notes on the french rev and i gotta continue later. stupid distracting computer.
okay jes pigged out on oreos and im very much tempted by the box of rochers beside me now. hmmm should i or should i not? :P
written with ♥ at
7:14 AM;
